July 10, 2009


North for the Summer took a lot out of me, quite honestly and I sincerely had no intention of returning to the scene of the crime this quickly. Therefore, I will attempt to keep this within tangible limits. The last couple of weeks have shot by, with the passing of a fallen pop-star, followed by sometimes surreal media coverage of the after-party. I have been determined as hell(till now) to hold my silence, quite simply, because others could not hold theirs. Perhaps, also because, commenting on the deceased is generally not becoming of an infrequent blogger like myself. Quite likely then, that the image of that bleedin' Armani-clad, bling-wearing rat-faced music-killer Usher singing Gone too Soon, as if he was performing at The Grammy's lent itself as a more than adequate spark.

Gone too Soon
. I cannot even begin to comprehend the irony behind the choice of song. Gone-too-fuckin-Soon! No, not the innocent Iraqi girl who died in her sleep as war ravaged her land. Not even the little children dying of severe malnutrition in Somalia. Not the boy who died after falling into an open manhole. But yes, this 50-year-old-man has certainly gone too soon. A person who had had so much plastic surgery done--it is quite likely that the hard-working folks at Madame Tussauds occasionally had trouble telling him apart from his wax replica--that living to the age of 50, itself qualified him as a medical marvel. A person who ought to have been grateful to modern medicine for keeping him chugging till the ripe old age of 50. Someone who should have been eternally thankful for a world of over-the-counter-drugs and pill-prescribing-quacks. Gone too soon. Why, did he have his sights set on someday being the grandpa of a mannequin? Don't we really have bigger issues to deal with?

In these "tough times", when everyone seems to be mourning his loss and everyone, from the owner of the kaaka-kada down the road to even my parents, claim to be/have been a fan, I have devised a simple test(that, FYI, most of you are bound to fail) that will forever cure you of what I call the M1J1 virus. It's quite simple. If you get a question right, move to the next question. If you get it wrong, scroll down to the end of this blog.

1. Simple one first. What is the name of the amusement park/ranch Michael Jackson owned?

2. Well done! Peter Pan would certainly be proud. Here is your 2nd question.
Name 5 Michael Jackson songs.

3. Excellent!! Well this is certainly a surprise. Here's number 3.
Name 3 of his Albums.

4. Wow. You really must be fan. Two more questions for the jackpot!!
On how many counts of child molestation was Michael Jackson charged during his career?

5. If you are doing this without any help from Google/Wikipedia, this is certainly getting eerie. One final question. Make-or-break.

Which of his three children, during their infancy, had the fortune of being dangled over the railing of a hotel balcony, by the King of Pop himself?

In the event that you have got all these questions right, the following material is for you(Parental Guidance is advised).

Congrats!! You are a certifiable MJ fan. You have every reason to be sad. It will probably take you another 2 weeks to digest the fact that he's gone. In those 2 weeks, several thousands more will die, quite possibly for no fault of theirs, most of them strangers to you. Death frequents us all. If you can give them a fraction of the emotion that you so generously bestowed upon a man characterized by questions 4 and 5, this world will know no hunger, no war, no poverty. For the coming 2 weeks, I would recommend copious amounts of some of the artistes that "performed" at his funeral(Mariah Carey, Rat-Face and Lionel Richie, in particular).

Welcome! I was expecting most of you here. Some of you might say that your earliest memories were of Michael Jackson getting his groove on, in music videos, the names of which you cannot recollect now. Of attempting to do the Moonwalk as children. Of repeatedly hearing the term Break-dance being thrown around without discretion(especially in Malayali circles); not having a clue what it meant. Good memories, yes, but do any of these really warrant a membership in the Michael Jackson Fanclub on Facebook? By the same token, shouldn't we all be members of the, errr, Scooby-doo, WWE, Backstreet Boys and I'm-a-Complan-boy groups? Most of you(us, rather) have been sucked in to this bubble, by the heartless bastards at Headlines Today/Times Now--who would probably even broadcast footage of a grazing cow, as long as it guaranteed good TRP ratings--and social mandates to raise the MJ topic whenever the silence gets awkward. For the most part, he was the butt of all our jokes and the subject of our ridicule. No amount of praise(genuine or otherwise) after his death is going to change that. In fact, it is a greater disservice to his memory for all of us to do a complete 180 on the subject. Perhaps it would be best, then, if we could all decide not to broach the subject again.


  1. good one again Mathew... Reminds of something a friend of mine said - "So now that mj's dead, its ok to like him?"

  2. Couldnt have said it ANY better Saj !


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